It ought to be wonderful. So why are we having a relationship crisis now?

During the pregnancy, your relationship is brought ahead. If your love had its emphasis on something completely different, the terms are now different and many relationships experience somewhat of a fright. Perhaps even cold feet. Feelings on the outside. And on the inside.

Perhaps you start all your sentences with “but when the baby comes you can’t…” and then develop a more critical attitude to your partner’s existing habits, which might not be corresponding with the image you see before you with a Baby Björn on your chest. Perhaps you become jealous out of nowhere and have a strained relationship with your partner’s mobile phone with incoming text messages, which doesn’t do wonders for your mutual trust.

Yes, a lot of things are happening right now. Maybe you are questioning yourself and your appearance. Why is he with you? Couldn’t he be with anyone? In other words, most feelings are on the outside, and as a woman, you are often in a vulnerable state, and it’s common to feel sensitive and weak. Many deep feelings might come to the surface and old ghosts turn up again. This also involves the father of the child, many feelings come up and there are many things he’s not prepared for. Considering you as the mother is at the centre of it all, your relationship comes into a different situation.

The changes in your body and the increased fatigue as your body gets heavier cause that you might not have as much energy and desire to meet your partner’s needs. Maybe not even your own – you’re busy acting as a greenhouse for the baby you are expecting together.

If you were high-performing before, your strict attitude towards yourself and your performance – also as pregnant – could cause further frustrations and irritation which need to come out somewhere. Some women don’t plan on changing anything in their lives for the sake of the pregnancy – everything should remain the way it was. And it shouldn’t be visible either, despite the fatigue that seems to just get worse and worse. Simply put, she wants to be everywhere and live her life as she has always done. This can affect a relationship a lot when the woman doesn’t want to listen to her body or her head.

Do you want to work it out together? Talk with each other.

And to ease the transition to life as parents as smoothly (and without shocks) as possible, you need to talk, talk and talk. The more conversations, the better the relationship. If your relationship has been up and down already before, you should prepare yourself for even worse times now and even during the early years of infancy. But to prepare and talk a lot is key. And don’t be afraid to seek help.