When it didn't quite turn out the way you thought it would…
Communication and participation are key during childbirth. Between you and your partner, between your care provider and you, and between your partner and your care provider. It can be easier said than done to communicate in the heat of the moment and at the epicenter of the pain.
2 min read
Verified by Jenny Jansson
Both you and your partner might feel powerless and fearful, and it can be difficult and a bit scary to be the one on the sidelines, especially if you don’t have any control. Afterward, you might feel like you didn’t get the support you needed and the interaction didn’t work at all as planned.
Childbirth often releases powerful and sometimes unexpected forces, both physical and mental, especially if it’s your first child. Perhaps you had set your mind on a “natural” birth but when the pain hit you, you lost control. Perhaps you needed some pain relief although you had planned not to take any, and instead of thinking that you did the best you could, you blame yourself and see it as a personal failure. Perhaps you had painted a certain picture for yourself – and it didn’t turn out that way at all (it’s often like that!). No wonder you feel disappointed and sad afterward.
But you did your very best! Perhaps the childbirth didn’t turn out the way you had hoped, but the outcome of your courage and hard work leads to a wonderful new little person. If you still feel unhappy, remember you are in the middle of a huge change in life, with great expectations for you. Be kind to yourself and be happy about everything you did manage, even though it didn’t turn out the way you thought. Make sure you get to talk about feelings and thoughts concerning your experience of giving birth after your baby is born. It helps you let off some steam and move on. Some maternity wards offer talks with a doctor after you have had your baby, just to be able to process things you found difficult or questions you might have in hindsight concerning your childbirth. This also includes you as a partner as it’s a huge experience for you as well, and it definitely left an impression on you!
Verified by Jenny Jansson
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It is important that the baby can latch on to the breast properly as this will reduce the risk of sore nipples, uncomfortable breastfeeding, engorgement, insufficient amounts of milk and slow weight gain in the baby.
The first days of breastfeeding
The breastfeeding pattern differs from child to child. Some babies sleep almost the entire first day after birth, while others want to feed straight away and often. Although your priority is not on yourself, make sure to sleep when the opportunity presents itself, eat well, and ensure that you get enough fluids.
Bleeding and discharge after giving birth
After giving birth, it’s normal for the mother to bleed, for up to eight weeks. Most of the bleeding is from where the placenta comes away from the wall of the uterus. This happens to all women, whether the birth was vaginal or by cesarean section.
The uterus will shrink back down to its normal size after delivery. The contractions are called postpartum pains, or simply afterpains, and are similar to period pain.